Aloha!
I find myself on my last day of this fantastical trip now knowing why I came back to Hawaii. It was to come home. I thought it was going to be about closure with a past lover, teacher and community. Turns out I have already had closure with the past lover and teacher. Now they are just precious memories that I get to recall and feel the gratitude for what they gave me. As for the community there is no closure, the door is open to the folks that I still want to connect with. Then I thought it was a reclaiming. Reclaiming my right to be here on this gorgeous island, but found that right was never taken away. She welcomed me with a huge, warm embrace, whispering in my ear, "where have you been?". And boy how, we have been delighting in each other with all the magical sunrises, the beaches, the mountains, the water, the waves. The birds, the geckos, the whales, sharks, seals and turtles. The flowers, the trees, the warm breezes. It's been heaven being home. Home in my heart that is.
And in my heart I got to be with my dear sisters from college. No, none of them practice yoga or meditate. But we all got to come home together, share our lives where we are at now. Aging bodies, aging parents, parents that have left. Aging kids in middle school, high school and kids that have fled the nest. We shared delicious island food, opened ourselves up to swimming with sharks and whales in deep waters, swallowing too much salt water and skinny dipping in waterfalls. Most of all we shared laughter tears and our bond of 30 years.
I thought this trip might be painful in some way. I really didn't know and opened myself up to whatever needed to move thru. There have been a few surges of emotion, but all sweet. I think it is because I have been with the anger, the rage, the grief, the disappointment, the frustration and the being taken advantage of. All gems. How often do we miss out on life because we are unwilling to be with the hard stuff? Have you ever said I won't go back to (fill in the blank) because it would be too painful? Have you ever ended a relationship with someone because they were friends with your ex-(fill in the blank)? Have you ever not gone somewhere special with a current partner because it was something you shared with an ex-partner? I am not saying any of this is wrong, I am just saying get curious about it. If your answer is it would be too painful, awkward, weird, I encourage you to lean in. Yes I travel around this island and around many corners there is a memory. I just put my hand on my heart, smile and say to myself, "It's ok. I got you." Coming home to my heart over and over again. So fulfilling.
Life didn't always feel this way. I was often looking to the if only(s). If only this person would do this, be different. If only I was smarter, prettier, thinner, made more money. If only this hadn't happened to me. If only I had made better decisions. If only I didn't feel this way again. If only mercury would move out of retrograde. And the list went on. I was traveling forward and backward in time, rarely present to life right here. Doesn't lend to much fulfillment. This is when meditation as a daily practice came into my life 9 years ago and it radically changed everything. And honestly I think it is no mistake that Rod Stryker's The Four Desires came shortly after. Life got so much more fulfilling. What I tell those that do the Yoga for Fulfillment series with me is, the fulfillment is already here. And yes, we will dive deep to see what's tugging at your heart and soul and follow that. When I asked Ben if he thought it was a good idea to offer the series again, his response was to focus on the Men. Maybe he is right, but I really couldn't see not offering it. People have gotten so much from it. I have seen people's lives change in so many transformational ways. It brings tears to my eyes recalling all these folks that I love so much. So I am excited about those that are saying they are going to sign up and those that said they are considering or interested. Last year I had 2 people signed up I think the day before then ended up with 11 or 12 folks in the series. "Soooo Tahoe", me included. That is why I would like to get my commitment phobic community an extra push. The first 5 people to sign up by this Friday, Jan.31, meaning get money to me via paypal/venmo/cash or check, you can sign up for $160. Yes that is a deep discount! Some of us really feel fulfilled when we get a deal. :) But for my other friends, pay what it is worth to you and I swear you will get out of it what you put into it. So the sliding scale is $200/$240/$280.
So I say, "See you later Hawaii and I'm coming home Tahoe". I actually thought before I came that this might be the last time, but I now know there is a good chance I will make my way back.
Much, much Aloha to you all!
Namaste,
Shari
P.S. One of my favorite teachers and beings on the planet, Laura Christensen will be at Tahoe Yoga for a weekend workshop on Joy. I highly recommend attending one or all sessions. I will for sure be there Friday night.
P.S.S. If you want some yoga plus nordic ski fun, come to Shooter Bowl Sunday. Details to follow.
