Hi Loves,
The stars have aligned for me to finally have the time and space to sit my butt down and write, as promised. Many tell me or write back to me that they really appreciate when I get vulnerable in my emails so here goes. A couple days ago I got some blood tests done at the affordable lab testing day here in town. I feel really healthy, but the gynecologist suggested it when visiting for a routine check up. I think it’s a standard thing that they suggest and I usually ignore, but for some reason I found myself going. Turns out everything looks good AND I have suboptimal cholesterol/borderline high cholesterol. HIGH CHOLESTEROL!?! (I am aware I am exaggerating, because the mind likes the drama.) I don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t do drugs. I exercise all the time, get out in nature, practice yoga and meditate quite a bit. I eat more leafy greens and vegetables then anyone I know. How could this be? Maybe my parents have it and it’s just genetic? Conversation to have with them soon I guess. Now as a disclaimer, I am writing this and I still haven’t talked to the doctor and I still haven’t talked to my nutritional therapist, Andrea Schaffer, but I just wanted to share where I am at because it’s my time to write. I am not worried or fearful about this, but really just so curious!!!! I have done some exploration on the internet and there is nothing like the internet to give you conflicting information. What is truth? Well I like to turn to Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life, whenever I am experiencing something in the body that I want to explore. She says:
Cholesterol - Clogging the channels of joy. Fear of accepting joy.
Hell yeah I can see that! This IS 2020. Bless my precious heart, AND arteries for that matter. This year has been something and I can easily see what has been clogging the channels of joy. My god, we probably all have high cholesterol. What takes a little more sitting with is the fear of accepting joy. Can you relate? How do you accept the joy that life has to offer when there is so much suffering, loss, grief and despair? And again we come back to the practice of being here now.
Lately I find myself responding to people that ask how I am, “Wonderful.” And then there is this moment of awkwardness because I am not acknowledging the hardship of what we are all experiencing so then I add, “in this moment.” And then unfortunately I fall into some sort of explaining what has been hard because of some longing to connect with this individual. Why it’s not more accepted to bond over joy, beats me. But truly, I am wonderful in this moment. Joy is right here and if I choose to I can quickly love this life just as it is. BUT, then the ego mind goes into some sort of “that’s your privilege.” Then the ego mind goes into “don’t you remember all the waves of emotion we have experienced by what life has offered. Don’t you remember when you couldn’t get out of bed because it was all so heavy. Don’t you remember when you sat with grief, you ended up vomiting for an hour. Was that wonderful?” And I can say, “yes”. This is what it is to be human and I would not take it away for one moment. I will be here be showing up to live this life with my full heart until life decides otherwise.
Three weeks ago I completed what was to be a 7 day virtual silent retreat with Tara Brach, her husband, and 3 other teachers. It was a prerequisite for the 2 year Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training program that I am starting with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield in February. When I signed up for the training, it was pre-Covid. I was delighted to have a 7 day Silent Retreat as a prerequisite. Then when everything shut down I was strongly resistant, I mean STRONG, to completing a retreat which was now to be held, on-line. My favorite part of retreat is to get away from screens for a week, wasn’t that the point? And how can I possibly complete this at home with a 13 year old that is doing school from home? My mind was thinking if they won’t take that I have completed 3 silent retreats before as a prerequisite then maybe I don’t need to do this training. I was like a defiant 13 year old with the expression of “Eh”. But it looked like there was no way around this, they held the clear container, no substitutes allowed, so I eventually surrendered and entered a lottery to get into this special retreat with Tara. I have to say I started to get excited when I was picked a lucky winner 5 day before it started and also my mom said I could come down to her house and she would hold the silence for me. Wow, this could be really wonderful! So all the support was coming in, Tessa was practically shooing me out the door and I was off to Carmel to drop in at Mom’s. My intention for retreat was to heal my relationship with my daughter which is really to heal my relationship with self and I found it fascinating that it ended up at my moms. I was there 3 nights and I got the call to come home. My silent retreat became not so silent. The healing required me completing the retreat at home with my daughter which has been truly priceless. Messy, hard and of course not done, probably just beginning. As for the virtual retreat, I am in awe of how much I received dropping in with 200 other folks on-line. I felt completely held. Surprisingly the channels of joy were blown wide open. Hopefully clearing all sorts of cholesterol blockages. Of course this retreat didn’t look anything like my retreats I have completed with Adyashanti, but no two retreats are the same I am learning. Each one so valuable to the unraveling of this ego structure and waking up to the joy of life, which is Freedom.
That leads me to share The Call to Freedom, living the practices of the Niyamas together. If you are still reading this you can probably see Clarity, Contentment, Discipline, Self-Study and Surrender all being lived in what I shared. Isn’t Freedom what we all truly long for? Especially when it feels like so many of our freedoms have been taken away. I was hesitant to start this series during the holiday season, but seeing where things are with Covid it seems that this might be the perfect refuge for folks during this time. One can expect in our virtual class some guided movement, some discussion, dropping in and exploring one niyama each week with each other all from the comfort of your home in your jammies for that matter. There will be accountability during the week to stay living these practices. Truly it’s about mediation. This is a time to have an excuse to dust off some of those yoga books that you do have, that might cover the sutras where we find the yamas and niyamas. I always recommend Nishala Joy Devi’s, The Secret Power of Yoga. It’s a heart translation of the yoga sutras of Patanjali. But really you don’t need any books to be a part of this series. In fact you can be brand new to yoga, but you hear the call to freedom. Let me know if you would like to join. I will be sending out a Welcome email Wednesday morning.
The questions I want to ask you today is what is blocking your channels of joy? And can you commit to one action that might help you clear it? Where are you fearful of accepting joy? Can you see if you dropped that fear for a moment or two, that life might show you something wonderful?
This is why we will start in the series with the first Niyama, Saucha, which I translate as clarity. Some of us can see clearly what is blocking our joy, this is where the accountability of sangha(conscious company) can be so helpful to take love into action. Would love to have you join on Wednesday nights to be a part of this conscious company.
So much love to all of you!
Namaste,
Shari
The Call to Freedom
A 5 Week Virtual Series on the Niyamas
Wednesday Nights 7:00-8:30
Nov. 18-Dec.16
Sliding Scale $75/$100/$125
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The Practice
Friday, Nov. 13 8:00-10:00am
Namaste in Person *7 spots available
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